Living with a partner not into kink
I often have men writing to me who express that they are unable to fulfill their submissive side in their relationship with a partner who is not into BDSM.
Let me start by saying that I understand how fundamentally important sexuality is to a person.
But with that said, I can not accept indulging in one's personal sexual pleasures behind one's partner's back. As a pro Domme this may seem like a strange thing to say, as for certain it means that I am cutting off a rather large number of people, which, from a purely business perspective is not a good move.
My integrity, moral and personal beliefs will always outrank a pile of money, or even a beautiful body, or my personal desire. In short, I refuse to be a part of an act that would cause sorrow to another woman. I believe that women should stick together and defend, support and trust one another. And yes, I have met some absolute cunts in my life and no doubts, I will meet them in the future as well.
I believe in honesty and honor. The House of Vespucci, filled with vice, delight and decadence, will not cater to dishonest and dishonorable men. If you only want to serve and respect the women that you find sexually attractive, you have no place at my feet.
I believe in being imaginative, too. For myself, the greatest and most satisfying parts of BDSM happen in every day life. I can see a submissive's dedication in the small things. That they do the dishes without being told so. That my breakfast tea is ready and waiting when I wake up. That the bed is made, neatly and beautifully, the curtains around the bed drawn. That my submissive is well groomed and pleasant to look at. That they think of me, notice me, serve me. Open doors, are never late, keep their word, bring me flowers, do not walk in front of me, do their exercise routine, educate themselves and engage in interesting conversations with me. In short, that they respect me and care about my wants.
Being in any relationship is a question of finding the right path, between the parties involved. Find imagination in every day life. I can tell you that there is not a woman who doesn't like it when you offer to cook. To take her out to a restaurant. That you clean, drive her to places, renovate the house. Perhaps her neck hurts from work? Offer her a massage. In short, forget what you need. See what she needs and wants.
Observe. Apply yourself. With your actions and words.
Of course, sometimes it doesn't work. That is life, too. But I urge everyone to open their eyes and to fulfill themselves in every day life. That is where the magic happens.
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